Maria's Desierto pancakes recipe

Here at the luxurious lodge of Lago Desierto, we enjoy the little things. Things such as a smashing Sunday pancake breakfast, cooked by one of the boys for all of the boys. The process and recipe follows.

To make Maria’s Desierto pancakes you will need: 3 eggs, a pinch of salt, water, half a plate of flour, butter or oil, and Maria.

The process actually starts on the Saturday night with an epic half-drunk RPS battle between all of the lads. Proceed to repeatedly lose your RPS matches. Hang your head in defeat and drown your sorrows with a stiff piscola. 

Wake up Sunday morning feeling slightly seedy. Get a coffee on the go. Try to get the pancake recipe out of the maid, Maria. Battle with the language barrier. Stare blankly as she rattles off a whole lot of Spanish phrases which seem to suggest pancakes aren't on the agenda right at the moment, Hang your head in shame as she clearly indicates that you are a knucklehead.

Ignore the suggestions to leave pancake making until later and proceed to start making pancakes in the kitchen anyway. Maria will see you are making pancakes no matter what and step in to help. Watch as she breaks three eggs in a bowl. Take the wooden spoon you are given and beat the eggs thoroughly. Meanwhile, Maria will add a pinch of salt and a cup of warm water. Continue to beat egg mixture until it is frothy. Maria will pour in half a plateful of flour (the plate smaller than a dinner plate, more of a snack plate). Beat this mixture until it is smooth. Maria will then add around half a cup of cold water to the mix. The final mixture should be smooth and pretty thin.

Watch Maria heat a frying pan with a splattering of oil or butter in the bottom. She will then ladle a ladleful of mixture into the centre of the pan and swirl it expertly to the edges of the pan. The pancake should be very thin at this stage. After a few minutes on the woodstove, watch Maria flip the pancake easily. Maria will leave the pancake to fry for another few minutes and then remove from the pan.

Attempt to repeat the cooking process you have just witness. Swirl the mixture unevenly and struggle to flip the pancake in the pan. Realise you are clogging up the kitchen and move to the dining room. Continue cooking pancakes on a portable gas cooker for the next hour, while talking bikes or smack with the boys. Halfway through make up another batch of batter. At some stage, curse your terrible efforts at RPS battling from the night before. At the end of it all, hold your head high with the success of amateur cookery.

And there we have it. Follow these simple steps and you too can enjoy pancakes Desierto style.